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Holder of Laughter
In any city, in any county, go to any mental institution, or any other halfway house you can get yourself into. Go up to the clerk and ask him, or her, about the one who calls herself the "Holder of Laughter". She will look at you gleefully and gesture you to follow her to a forgotten hallway and into the forgotten wing of the institution. There will be a wooden door, painted pink. The clerk will leave you there. This will be your last chance to walk away. If you want to proceed, open the door with the hand you use less. If you open it with the hand you are accustomed with, a unexplained horror will lure you in, and you will be forever tormented for all eternity. If you used your other hand, you will see what it looks like a maze on a large field. Make your way to the middle of the maze. You should see tables with an array of cakes, presents, toys, and balloons on the left side of the area. On the right side is a cave leading to a place that is filled with hopes that have been destroyed, dreams that have never been enjoyed, and fears that have been mentioned in life, fears so horrific that one step inside the cave will make you mad. Go to the tables. There will be an array of different colored balloons, each with a grin on its face. Choose the balloon with the right color. If you choose the wrong one, the smile will slowly fade, and a hole will appear at the bottom of your feet, making you fall in a bottomless abyss of pain and suffering. Choose the right one, then the balloon will pop, making a loud noise that will make you fall on your knees. Close your eyes and count to ten, slowly. Then open your eyes, and you will come face-to-face with a girl with pink, fluffy hair, wearing over-the-top clothing, and a boy with black, greasy hair, a black suit, and a grin on his pale face. They stand before you on a suspending platform hung up by chains in a dimly lit room. They will extend their right hand, tucking the left hand behind their backs. You must retrieve an object from the girl's left hand. She will show some resistance in the process. After you have retrieved the brown package, you should be ready to run...fast. There will be a noise that sounds like a giant, mechanical spider. Do not look back, or else sit down and pray to your God for your life to end at the first bite. Otherwise just run as fast as you can. Get to the door, on it, and you should be outside the institution. Now you can unwrap the package. It should be a golden necklace with a gem that resembles a blue balloon. This is Object 197 of 538. It is the joy in life, the laughter in each and every one of us, and a jewel that shouldn't be combined with the others...or else it'll be your fate.